Dancing lessons to physical therapy to ?

The group ABBA
Originally uploaded by Brite light photos.

SACRAMENTO, Calif. - The past six weeks have been marked by two or three sessions per week with a physical therapist, followed by at-home stretching exercises that make me want to scream.

Still there's some improvement on the tendinitis in my right shoulder that has kept me from playing the guitar at all.

I may have to take up the bongo drums.

But today Shelley Kales sent along a list of songs, the titles of which have been updated to reflect our aging baby-boomer physical conditions.

OK, my physical condition.

Here' s Shelley's list:

NEW SONGS FOR BABY BOOMERS

Herman's Hermits --
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker

The Bee Gees --
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip

Bobby Darin --
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash

Ringo Starr --
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends

Roberta Flack --
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face

Johnny Nash --
I Can't See Clearly Now

Paul Simon --
Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

The Commodores --
Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom

Marvin Gaye --
Heard It Through the Grape Nuts

Leo Sayer --
You Make Me Feel Like Napping

The Temptations --
Papa's Got a Kidney Stone

Abba --
Denture Queen

Tony Orlando --
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall

Helen Reddy --
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore

Willie Nelson --
On the Commode Again