Who we were and who we turned out to be

Jennifer Wall
Originally uploaded by Brite light photos.

JAMESTOWN, N.Y. - We were in 9th grade, in Mrs. Pascuillo's English clas and I remember having to give speeches at some point.

Speeches? Gulp!

I wasn't much on public speaking in junior high school and high school. In fact, I had total terror of facing a crowd. (My apologies, here to the anonymous un-fan of this blog who sent the nastygram back in March. This is a really hard thing to write about without the first personal pronoun.)

We were in the auditorium and while I think I would look at it today and think it was a tiny place, I remember it as cavernous and the stage quite high.

Two things stick out about that day.

First, whenever someone gave a speech, all of us sitting down in front were sooooo critical. Jay Piazza was especially good at slamming people. But when Jennifer Wall (now Jennifer Wall Breland) got up and gave a speech/presentation about art, Jay was speechless, a totally unnatural condition for him, I remember. After she finished, I remember him saying, "How can you slam Jennifer Wall?"

In her very soft voice, she talked about some art, showed examples for us to see, and Mrs. Pascuillo practically applauded. Jennifer had more poise than most of us, I remember that clearly.

The second memory is clear, too, but a lot more painful.

I had not prepared a speech (a familiar pattern that extended to all homework), but damn it was my day all of a sudden and there was Mrs. P. saying "Mike, you're up."

Up the creek would have been more accurate and a good predictor of the doom that awaited.

I had just read an article about telepathy, somewhere, and so I thought I could wing it. Youthful confidence bolstered by the fact that I had no choice pushed me up on the stage. You did not tell Mrs. P. you weren't ready - or that your assignment was not done.

Standing up on that stage, I boldly said, "My speech is about telepathy..." except that I completely mispronounced telepathy and said "Tele-Path-ee." And the more I went on, the more I said "Tele-Path-ee," over and over, because my mind drew a blank on any content. All I could remember was the word.

Jim Carr was near the front and desperately tried to signal me that I was toast. I mean, how much could I really know about telepathy if I couldn't even pronounce the goddamn name right.

Mrs. P.'s face went from smile to frown to total rage by the time the three minutes were up. The three minutes seemed like three years.

It took me another 20 years to learn that when you do public speaking, if you are prepared, it's no big deal. Really.

I sometimes have to speak to several hundred people at a time - which does give me pause - but I make sure I have at least twice as much material as I think I will need, three really good jokes and a new obnoxious tie to divert people's attention.

It works, but I'm stuck with a closet full of awful neckties. Perhaps I'll bring some to the reunion, but no speeches for me, thank you very much.

ON ANOTHER NOTE:

Marcia Carlson Hein has been busy blogging on her website (the link is to the right). You might want to check it out.